Linggo, Hulyo 24, 2011

Being a Good Parent

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Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. There is a natural instinct that seems to come to a new parent, but there are bits of advice that can help when you are challenged in the growing up years. The most important thing however, that any parent can give their child, is a sense of being loved and the most important thing that any parent can remember is that they don't have to be infallible to be a "perfect" parent



  • A gentle cuddle,a little encouragement,appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children.Sadly,many children seek this kind of acceptance from their peers.
  • 1) tell them you love them everyday :)
  • 2) Give lots of hugs and some kisses
  • 3) Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in     order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.
  • 4) Express interest in your children and involve yourself in his and her life.
  • 5) Create an atmosphere in which they can come to you with a problem however large or small.
  • Respect their privacy as you would want them to respect yours; for example, if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Allow them to feel that once they enter their room they can know that no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary.


    • Instill in them, a sense of belonging by displaying individual and family portraits on the walls of the house.
    • Don't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.
    • Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe that they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose sides, but be fair and neutral.
    • and the most important 
      • Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes.
      • Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and they will (more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to/following others.
      • Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.

Martes, Hulyo 19, 2011

Single Mom Finance/Dealing with life

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It is very hard.I am always tired. It is frustrating sometimes but I would not change a thing about my life.I love my little angel dearly and I thank God that I did not have that abortion. I struggle with taking care of my daughter but God always makes a way.


I have raised my children on nothing but love, GOD, encouragement, sacrifices on my part. And here I am writing? I always thought to be a good single mother I always tried my hardest at everything.


its hard to a single mom:
Women who stay alone, in various ways, cope and go through life. In the best situation they are working mothers who receive a fair child support, so it is much easier to tolerate their solitude. Women who live with their parents are also in easy circumstances, because they can count on the support of their parents. It is the hardest for those who are unemployed or have low salaries, living as tenants and are forced to work all day, causing a bit of time to spend with their children.
Although in recent years, the number of women who have decided to give birth to a child had increased, it can hardly be said that their fate is like a Hollywood film story in which she is established, has a good job, a huge alimony and a reliable nanny, and she has no shortage of her time for seeing and going out with her friends, shopping and visits to beauty salons. Such examples, however are rare, but for most single mothers their story really looks like a film.
Privatisation has ruined many families, employers in private firms are not interested in whether the single mother has someone to take her child from the nursery, only to finish the job. Among women who have found themselves in this particular life situation are those ones who are widowed, those who gave birth out of wedlock children, then women who have just learned that they do not understand the partners and decided to divorce.
Cases in which people divorce but equally participate in raising the child are not rare. A number of women who have decided to raise the children is increasing. This, however, does not mean that the ratio of middle to single mothers has changed.

Linggo, Hulyo 17, 2011

"Secrets to a Happy Family:

"Parents is an undying love,A love beyond compare,the one you take your troubles to,specially our mom's she is the one who really cares.Mother & father you are all of this and more,I love you very much mom dad :))

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One of the best gifts you can give your children is a happy family. When your children grow up and look back on the family time that you spent together, you want them to have fond memories of the good times that they had growing up. Although every family has their occasional problems and difficulties, there are some tips that you can use to insure that your family will experience a lot of happiness together.

1) Enjoy Laughter Together

Laughter is one of the things that helps draw families closer together. Sharing funny stories or watching humorous movies or television shows together is a wonderful way to create a connection with your children. You will find that plenty of laughter will make almost any situation that can occur in your family much easier to handle.

2) Concentrate on What You Have to Be Thankful For

So many times it seems that people focus more on the problems that they have in life, instead of truly enjoying the many blessings that they already have. One of the best ways to not only create more happiness in your family, but also teach your children the fine art of seeing the good side of things, is to focus more of your attention on the positive, instead of dwelling on the negative.

3) Share Your Happiness as a Couple with Your Children

One of the best gifts you can give a child is the knowledge that their parents truly love each other. Not only does this give them a strong sense of security, but it also provides them with a positive role modeling experience that they can look back on and emulate when they grow up.

4) Be Happy with Less

Many times financial worries and concerns can drain happiness from a family. Although you might try to hide your worries from your children, they can sense when there are problems. Try to keep your finances in order, but one of the best things you can do financially in your family is to learn how to appreciate the smaller pleasures in life. You don't need reservations at an expensive restaurant and a movie afterwards when you can enjoy spaghetti night and a comedy DVD with your children at home.

5) Practice Courtesy

Sometimes it can seem like common courtesy is a lost art. Teach your children to give happiness to others by setting a positive example of courtesy and consideration for each other.

6) Make Your Home a Place of Kind Words

Many times sibling fighting often starts when one child says something mean or puts down another child. That child responds with another insult. The fight soon escalates. To break this cycle, there should be a rule that no person puts down any other member of the family and the rule needs to be enforced, both with children and parents alike.

7) Believe in Each Other

Children build a lot of the self-esteem that they will carry for the rest of their life during the time they spend with their parents. If you ask a person with many skills how they learned to do these things, many times the answer will be that when they were growing up, their parents truly believed in them. When you believe your children can do anything, it usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

8) Offer Praise Instead of Criticism

Although it might be easy to find fault in small things that your children and spouse do throughout the day, remember that you can create a lot of happiness with one small word of praise, but also have the power to destroy happiness by offering criticism instead. Try to find something nice to say about everybody every single day.

9) Worry Less

Too many times families miss out on a lot of joy and happiness because they are too busy worrying about things. It could be work, school, finances, or any one of a number of other things in life that people often worry about. Try to remember that most problems tend to work themselves out, and that almost nothing is as bad as it sometimes can seem. If you sense that your spouse or child is especially worried about something, plan a private date with them and give them an opportunity to share their concerns. Often just talking about the problem can help relieve the stress and worry, and you might be able to offer some suggestions or tips for helping them deal with the issue.

10) Help Each Other

Finally, and most importantly, remember that your family is a team, and you should always fully support your "team mates." This includes assisting each other with chores when necessary, doing nice things for each other just because you know it is something they would like, and lending an ear or a helping hand when things are going bad. There is nothing better than knowing that you have the full support of all of your family members behind you.

11) Stay Active Together

Bonus Secret. Quality family time is very, very  important.  Whether it is family means, times at the park, or doing chores together. The family that stays active, and does more things together creates stronger bonds and is much happier.


Sabado, Hulyo 16, 2011

Parenting A Teenage Daughter Can Have Your Head Spinning!

Mom & daughter
Parenting Golden Rule: "Treat your child welcome were in the same position."

One day, out of the blue, a teenager decides she no longer wants a particular girl in “her” group of friends. The young lady arrives at school and is informed that she is no longer a part of “the group.” They make fun of her “big butt” telling her, “a small television could sit on top of that thing.” The young lady is hurt, embarrassed and confused. She never tells her parents what happened and makes excuses for why she doesn’t get asked to sleepovers or on outings with these girls anymore. It is a time she will never forget.
So goes the life of an adolescent girl. Few parents escape experiencing the pain and anxiety situations like this one create. Parenting your teenager can definitely keep you on your toes. Many parents testify to the fact that something happens to girls around eleven years of age. Things that neither the parent nor the child fully understand. Some parents believe aliens invade their daughter’s body! When it comes to dealing with the craziness of their relationships, it is hard to know the right thing to do. You want to protect your child from the hurt, yet you know this is a rite of passage as girls move into adolescence on their way to young adulthood.
“Every girl I know has been hurt by her girlfriends,” said Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and co-founder of the Empower Program. “One day your daughter comes to school and her friends suddenly decide she no longer belongs. Or she is teased mercilessly for wearing the wrong outfit or having the wrong friend. Your daughter’s friendships with other girls are a double-edged sword – they’re key to surviving adolescence, yet they can be the biggest threat to her survival as well. The friendships with the girls in her clique are a template for many relationships she’ll have as an adult.”
According to Ms. Wiseman, in trying to prepare girls for adolescence, adults are failing. Parents refuse to see what is really going on in the lives of their daughters. They trivialize and dismiss these experiences as “teen drama.” Adolescence is truly a time when social hierarchies are powerfully and painfully reinforced every moment of every day. As they are jockeying for position, girls fall into several different categories from Queen Bees to Wannabes.
In case you are wondering if your daughter is a “queen bee” or a “wannabe” Ms. Wiseman gives these descriptors of each.
Your daughter is a queen bee if… her friends do what she wants to do; she isn’t intimidated by any other girl in her class; her complaints about other girls are limited to the lame things they did or said; when she’s young, you have to convince her to invite everyone to her birthday party. When she does invite everyone you want, she ignores and excludes some of her guests; she can persuade her peers to do just about anything she wants; she can argue anyone down, including friends, peers, teachers and parents; if she has been wronged she feels she has the right to seek revenge. She has an eye-for-an-eye worldview.
Your daughter is a wannabe if…other girls’ opinions and wants are more important than her own; her opinions on dress, style, friends, and “in” celebrities constantly change; she can’t tell the difference between what she wants and what the group wants; she’s desperate to have the “right” look; she’ll stop doing things she likes because she fears the clique’s disapproval; she’s always in the middle of a conflict; she loves gossip.
While these are the two extremes, there are many roles girls can take on in between the Queen Bee and the Wannabe. Few girls will get through school unaffected by this phenomenon. It may be tempting for parents to put their head in the sand and ignore all the “drama,” but your daughters need you to be actively engaged in their lives. Your home can be a safe refuge for them to process all the craziness. Don’t underestimate the significance of your willingness to listen and assistance in problem-solving, words of encouragement, clear expectations, respect, and most of all, your understanding that sometimes none of their or their friend’s behavior makes sense. You are helping your daughter learn to navigate relationships. The skills she learns now will hopefully serve her well in the future. The good news is, parents who have survived this phase of life say it does get better over time. Stay strong for your daughter’s sake!

My Top Ten Movies About Mother/Daughter Rivalry/HOLLYWOOD MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS



Hollywood Mothers & Daughters/


The Bottom Line Since having my own daughter, I've thought about this topic with guilt, sorrow, and 
apprehension. Nothing to do but have mom over, drink wine, and watch one of these movies.

1. Real Women Have Curves:

Perfect for first or second generation Latina daughters, especially while you're still young. Some of the protagonist's coming of age experiences and mouthing off will lose their potency once you are much older than she is.

2. Pieces of April:

This is highly relatable if you were the black sheep of the family, but the mother is probably much meaner than yours ever was, even if you did throw matches at your sister. When April's neighbor tells her she is a bad girl, prepare to glance meaningfully in your mother's direction when she says "No - I'm not!" It's also fun to see Tom Cruise's stepford babymama with tattoos and greasy hair.

3. Thirteen:

I don't recommend watching this one if you have a little daughter of your own - the story of two thirteen year olds out of control is far too frightening! But if you were a naughty teenager, now it's your mother's turn to glance at you meaningfully while you think about all the pain you caused her. Prepare the Kleenex for the end when the mother physically forces her daughter to accept her hug while both cry.

4. Heavenly Creatures:

If Thirteen hits too close to home, hopefully this film about two teenage girls who become such good friends they feel the need to kill one of their mothers during a lovely walk in the New Zealand countryside will be far outside the realm of your experience. This Peter Jackson film delivers great performances from the two young stars, including a teenaged Kate Winslet, and the most incredible claymation scenes I've ever seen integrated into a film.

5. Flowers in the Attic:

This is a horrible movie - a schlockbuster of the highest degree - but I can't resist it, and neither can my mother. We get nostalgic for the times when I rented this for my fifth grade slumber parties and she made cringeworthy attempts to mingle with my guests. At least the movie doesn't include the incest from the book. Both of you will cheer when the spineless, selfish mother strangles in her own wedding dress.

6. The Jacket:

The mother-daughter story in this movie is revealed through a mental patient (Adrian Brody) whose drastic treatments allow him to visit the future. His desire to change that future affects the lives of a little girl he met on the roadside and her alcoholic mother (Keira Knightly and Kelly Lynch). The plot is complicated and some of the scenes are very disturbing, but it's an excellent choice for the chick-flick averse.

7. Spanglish:

No post 2004 mother/daughter movie list could be complete without Spanglish. Like other James L. Brooks films, the plot is driven by the dialogue, and the performances are understated and vulnerable. Adam Sandler does a good job as the mild mannered husband, but the real interest comes from the three different pairs of mothers and daughters - an upper-middle class housewife with her teenaged daughter, the same woman with her functionally alcoholic mother, and their immigrant housekeeper with her young daughter.

8. Mermaids:

This isn't a great movie, but it's fun. If you're my age (25) you probably have a big girlcrush on Winona Ryder, and if you're my mother's age (50) it's likely you adore Cher. A fun soundtrack, itty-bitty Christina Ricci stealing the show as the kid sister, and a scrumptious handyman on hand to deflower Ryder make this worth a rental if you didn't see it in 1990.

9. Little Women (1933 and 1994)

Invite your sisters and aunts for this one, but don't watch them back to back. The 1933 version is a classic, starring Katherine Hepburn at her most energetic and beautiful, and is clearly the better of the two versions. However, Susan Sarandon's performance as Marmee is far more relatable to contemporary audiences, Christian Bale is a much better Laurie than that dandy Douglass Montgomery, and no young actress of the 90's (my personal bias aside) could have made a better Jo than Winona Ryder. Either version will be a crowd pleaser that will make the whole room feel warm and affectionate toward one another.

10. The Joy Luck Club:

No matter what your race or age, this movie about the hopes and dreams of mothers for their daughters in four different Chinese families will move you. Watching this movie with your mother is not to be undertaken lightly, but it's worth doing. Ever since having a daughter of my own, I can't get through the first ten minutes without crying. The leads give excellent performances, the script is well adapted from Amy Tan's excellent novel, and the scenes of the mother's memories of their pasts in China are beautifully shot. Although the film is a major tear-jerker, there are several moments of humor.

Mother is an undying love

When you feel you are alone in the crowd,& dies when you cry. 
When you think No.1 can understand you,
When your love is rejected by others,
& when you hate your Life,
Just close your eyes, & see, her face who loves you
more than any 1 else,
who care for you in loneliness, 

She is no 1, but your sweet loving mother.
Love your mom first and always.



Mother is an undying love,
A love beyond compare,
the one you take your troubles to,
she is the one who really cares.
Mother you are all of this and more,
I love you very much

Huwebes, Hulyo 14, 2011

Mother-Daughter Relationships

Whether you have a great mother-daughter relationship or a mother-daughter relationship that can be improved, you probably know that mother-daughter bonding can start at an early age.


When you're five, she's a goddess. You smear your face with her lipstick and model her earrings and high heels, wanting to be just like mommy. That's the way it is until you're about thirteen, when she suddenly becomes the most ignorant, benighted, out-of-touch creature on the planet, and you can't get far enough away from her. Your primary form of interaction for the next five years or so will be a single word, "Mooooooooooooommmmmmm!" And then, somewhere between your twenties and your thirties, if you're lucky, she becomes your best friend again.

relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her daughter. "It's the original relationship, and it's also a relationship that has been sentimentalized but not honored," says Lee Sharkey, Ph.D., who directs the Women's Studies program at the University of Maine at Farmington, where she teaches a popular course in mother-daughter relationships. "Women grow up and our energy is largely turned toward men, but the original love relationship is with a mother. If we as daughters don't acknowledge that, we're closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfillment and understanding of ourselves."